- The Quest Newsletter
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- The Quest Newsletter
Read time: 4 minutes
Welcome to Quest, a weekly newsletter where I share ideas to help you build a life you love — one filled with more energy, purpose, and joy.
Preview:
Quote: Coming Alive
Useful Ideas: Your Tribe, Start Small, Spotlight Effect
Exercise: The Good Life
Story: Don’t Delay Your Happiness
Thought: Aligning Your Schedule
Quote
Howard Thurman on doing what makes you come alive:
“Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
Source: The Living Wisdom of Howard Thurman: A Visionary for Our Time
Useful Ideas
I.
If you want to change your life, you have to change your environment.
The people you surround yourself with will influence the thoughts you have, the habits you build, and the success you experience.
A good tribe will raise the standards of your life.
Who are you surrounding yourself with?
II.
When you’re forming a new habit, start small.
The harder a new habit is to start, the easier it is to quit.
III.
Don’t worry about what others think about you.
Why?
Because they’re not thinking about you.
The “spotlight effect” is the psychological phenomenon that states that we tend to overestimate how often other people notice our appearance, behavior, or performance.
People are too focused on their own lives to notice how we’re living ours.
Go live your life.
“You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” - Eleanor Roosevelt
Exercise
Dr. Martin Seligman is considered to be the father of positive psychology.
In addition to his research on learned helplessness, Dr. Seligman is well-known for developing a framework for optimal happiness and lasting well-being.
It’s called the PERMA Model.
Positive Emotions
Engagement
Relationships
Meaning
Accomplishment
“Well-being cannot exist just in your own head. Well-being is a combination of feeling good as well as actually having meaning, good relationships, and accomplishment.”
Dr. Martin Seligman
Positive Emotions: feelings of happiness, joy, comfort, and love
• Exercise
• Get out in nature
• Practice gratitude
Engagement: being fully absorbed in stimulating activities; being in “flow”
• Be present
• Meditation
• Engage in the activities that make you lose track of time
Relationships: strong social connections and supportive relationships
• Be kind to strangers
• Quality time with loved ones
• Let people know you’re thinking about them
Meaning: serving a purpose larger than yourself
• Faith
• Serve others
• Give back to your community
Accomplishment: have a clear vision of what you’re working toward
• Set meaningful goals
• Celebrate your successes
• Always be learning (growth = happiness)
“Research has shown significant positive associations between each of the PERMA components and physical health, vitality, job satisfaction, life satisfaction, and commitment within organizations.” (Kern, Waters, Alder, & White, 2014).
“I'm doing everything I had dreamt of doing for 30 years. It all came true, and I'm the least happy I've ever been in my life.”
A short, powerful clip from an interview with Dax Shepherd where he shares his realization that fulfillment in life doesn’t come from our achievements.
One of the most dangerous ideas you can have is: "I'll be happy when..."
Happiness isn't something you delay for the future; it's something you design in the present.
"The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet." - James Oppenheim
I've often believed the lie that if I only got this, or did that, or was included with them, or achieved this milestone that life would finally be good.
Helpful for my soul to see Dax Shepard shatter that illusion.
— Brent Beshore (@BrentBeshore)
May 8, 2023
Thought
How can you adjust your schedule to ensure you spend time on what’s most important to you?
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Make it a great weekend.
Much love,
Beau Burns